HA! Bet I scared you for a moment. Well, I really am saying goodbye. Just to this blog, though. So you can rest assured, I have not given up on my need to rant. Livejournal you were there with me then, and you are still here with me. But honestly, the moniker Maximspice has lost its relevance with me, especially as a 24 year old. Wow, this journal has really spanned various eras of my life. I'm glad that I can look back at it all and laugh. As a treat, I've decided to end this post with my very first one!

Title: My Last Day With the Evil Bitch...

After spending two long hours in the auditorium, I made my way into the fortress of the first bitch God had created. She sat down on her chair. Her folds of cellulite screamed for freedom from her tight pair of Levis. Her disgusting fake long blond hair stretched to the ground. I cautiously avoided her the whole period. However, I knew it was inevitable that she would not let me leave her for three months without giving me some venomous remarks that spewed from her evil fangs. The first hour was simple. She made a sarcastic remark about how I had changed my originally planned graphite drawing into a painting. Well, I just cared so much about what she thought... However, the second hour she was quiet. A little TOO quiet... I knew it was coming. I could already predict her glare. Her tone of voice. She walked over to my desk and asked to see my artistic journal. I could see she was serious from the fat jiggling with every step she took. She scanned through the pieces. Due to the fat clogging her eyes she couldn't notice that I had two drawings per page. She expected me to use 18 pages of paper rather than nine. Not that I cared... Alas, I thought she might have changed...Perhaps, she was actually pleased with my journal...But then I saw her large fat mouth open slowly. "You need to start varying your materials," she said. I nodded with a slight eye roll. At least I had artistic talent and didn't draw those doodles she thought were wonderful drawings by her. Then she let us out...3 months...


Oh me, Oh high school. Wow, what the hell. Well, we had a good ride maximspice, but now it's time to say goodbye...

And hello... chriswang

Please friend me.

This quarter has gotten off to a terrible start. First off, I was hoping this horrendous cold would wear off by now, but it hasn't. It does not help that everyone at school and at work is sick, as well. What a difference a year makes. Last year, I reveled in not catching any sort of sickness, but I guess this should make up for that. This cold is so bad that it gave me PINK EYE. PINK EYE. Really? What the hell. Luckily, it's down now, but freakin' A this cold is a monster. Oh oh and to make things better, here's something funny.

So during winter break, I do not know if it was a sprain or a stress fracture, but something happened to my left foot that caused it to be unbearable to walk. This happened finals week. So yesterday, while I was walking to my second class, I totally sprain my ankle. But it wasn't just a sprain it was a hard BEND and I think I heard cracking which can't be good. But yeah, I sprained my RIGHT foot. So now I have two bad feet. Jesus.

And then I can get to the title of this thread. In my second class, I was dead tired from barely sleeping the night before. Thanks to my cold, sleep is actually a painful process because I am awakened to all my symptoms attacking me at once. So I guess I began drifting off. I tend to do two things when I drift off, make moaning sounds (I kid you not) or snore. Either way, it brings attention to me. All I remember was closing my eyes, and when I opened them the people around me were staring at me. Sweet. Fuck me. Okay, so only two people were looking at me so it didn't feel as bad.

In my last class, that's where I did a double whammy. First, I totally let one rip, because I was gassy all day. Well, it wasn't a big one, and no one around me seemed to notice unless they were just being nice. But yeah, I sorta saved it by making it look like I was adjusting my chair. Then later I started drifting off, and I totally MADE A MOANING SOUND. GEEZ.

I have terrible bad habits. But you know what? They make me who I am. And I'm better than all those f**kers.

Hahahaha.

Thank goodness I don't have class today. I can just recuperate. Lotsa chicken noodle soup and sleeping. Well, nevermind about the sleeping part, since sleep sucks for me now.

Aside from it being catchy, why is Billy so gross compared to everyone else?

So yesterday, I attended Corey's sister's wedding. I must say, we didn't know what to expect. But it turned out to be one of the most fun nights I've had in a long time.

You have to give props when there's a ceremony where...

The Groom and his parents march to "Nightmare Before Christmas" music...
The Bridesmaids and Best Men march to "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" by the Darkness...
and
The Bride and her parents march to an electric guitar version of Pachebel Canon.

The music was sweet.

Oh and at the reception the couple made a grand entrance with "Just like Heaven" playing.

The rest of the night was just filled with incredibly ridiculous dancing. If you've seen me dance, you can know what to expect. We kept creating our own dances because we just couldn't compete with the people who could actually dance. I think we now have the Mortal Kombat (punching) dance, driving a bus dance, skiiing dance, and a bunch of different thrusting dances by yours truly. But all in all, it was just to be incredibly stupid and not feel so stupid about doing it. It was the best Canto-Mexican wedding I have been to.

I'm really glad I was able to go.

I know I've been lagging on the Visual Statements but life happens. So there's my excuse...

Eh, at least it's humorous, eh? eh?

a la PostSecret

You should know what this exactly refers to.

So tomorrow I am psyched to actually vote for the first time. This is one of the few times in my life where I have felt like I would have a part in history and hopefully be one of those who help make a difference for the better. The future seems bleak and while I do have some faith in our country's people, that is easily overshadowed by media coverage of the cult-like McCain and Palin supporters who seem to take this election as a joke. They do not realize that they are fucking with America and if those two are elected, we are officially fucked. It's hard to get over history. And if the past four years taught us anything, it was that America was stupid enough to vote a man into office who everyone seemed to have contempt for. And now where are we? We are in deeper waters than before and people want to toy with the idea of voting for someone who will essentially put us through another four years of hell?

And then we have the slew of ridiculous propositions that threaten our society. Prop 4 is pretty self-explanatory and I do not see why you would even consider it, unless you were fanatical and voting yes on Prop 8, as well. Prop 8 is unconstitutional in its very existence. Why are we even considering voting to take AWAY rights from people? Is THAT American? Did we not establish that "separate but equal" CLEARLY does not work? Hello, and I'm not making comparisons to the past, but if Prop 8 passes it clearly shows that we have not learned from this country's history of discrimination and that sets back years of progress for our country. Prop 8 is not about religion or schools. It's about a religious fraction of our state trying to impose their views over LEGAL rights that EVERYONE should be able to have. And if you are really naive to think that Civil Unions are 100% the same, then you are delirious. Prop 8 is not about religious marriage or traditional marriage. It's about legal marriage. It's about the rights of our people. It's nothing to be taken lightly.

The Yes on 8 campaign has been disgusting in its attempt to use children in getting its message across. We were never taught about marriage in school, so why would this be any different? Why would you think that schools would even touch on the topic of marriage in the first place? Teach your own damn kids your own values.

So yeah, I encourage everyone to vote!

And with this I part with these words...

As Tina Fey so eloquently put it,
"If McCain/Palin wins the election,
I'm moving...


Out of this planet..."

So I feel compelled to write. I do not know if it's because I actually want to, or because it's 82 degrees in my room right now at...5 AM. Gross. Oh em gee, it's been like this all night. I've attempted to sleep at least a bajillion times, and nothing has worked. So whatever, I know I will pay for it by passing out in Photography, but whatever, I do what I want.

The group Alphabeat is made of win. I know I used lame interweb talk, but seriously, they've been that one group to really make me have faith that good music is still in existence. Maybe I am just becoming outdated and not up with the changing sound of music, but this group is full of 80's melodic fun. And they are from Denmark! Greatness.

I have three fans running in my room and they are doing nothing for me. Pieces of shit. Well, the summer has passed. And with every summer, I always find myself in that obligatory car ride with Corey in which we reflect on the past three months of lethargic downtime. We always end up saying, "You know what? It's gonna be different next summer. It's all about 2009 or 20___" Haha, in all seriousness, this summer just flew by. Oh the monotony of going to school and work. It made 15 weeks pass by in a snap.

The summer of 2008 was worse than the summer of 2007, and probably not as memorable but the past couple years have been one big blur. It's hard when you do not have milestones or big life changes to help you differentiate time. I think it's safe to say my time at Cal Poly from 2006 to now has not felt like years, but one big, long year. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Though, what will be memorable about the summer of '08 is my terrible IBM 307 experience.

I have never felt so insulted by someone in my life until I met my IBM professor, Dr. Swartz. This man, was not only full of himself, but a total jackass. Aside from making inappropriate remarks, which don't get me wrong, I am all for inappropriateness when it's hilarious, but his remarks were fucked up. And he seemed to be under the impression that because he is married to an Asian woman, he is entitled to make as many racist remarks as possible. He never got my name right during the ten weeks of summer session. I mean, how many times do I have to say "I'm Chris, not Sanhyuk, not Philip, not Robert, not any of the other Asian males in this class" to make you know who I am?! Then he constantly treated me like shit, because he confused me for the other slackers in the class. The most annoying thing was our final project. In which, he only enjoyed our plans book, which was 100% designed and compiled by me. Yet, he still gave me a C-. I hate you Dr. Swartz.

Well enough of that.

So this has been quite a bummer summer. But, for some reason this past week something changed. Maybe it's something psychological, but I just felt better. Maybe I am getting adjusted to this house finally. Maybe I am finally getting adjusted to life. I do not know. All I know is that I have hope that things will get better.

Thank you Jackie Martinez for having an Obama sign on your front lawn. It's nice to know that some of my neighbors still have some sense in them. Well, the neighbors across from me at the corner also have an Obama sign, but I have never seen them. Which is amusing because of the juxtaposition of their home and the home perpendicular to them that has a McCain sign and some weird cult-like handwritten MCCAIN sign that they posted on their window. Freaks.

So I saw this poster swimming around the Apple Trailers page...

Now I regret clicking it...



Deng, if the main character is going to have my namesake, couldn't they of cast like a hunk or someone? Oh wait, that would make Asian Americans look like normal people, which Hollywood hates to do.

I feel like I'm in an episode of the Twilight Zone or something.

Maybe I am being a prude. Maybe I just got lost at some point, where the sound of good music started to change, but I am lost. It's been a good while since I got addicted to a song. Granted, Yalie or Christina will probably always have a better music sensibility than I, since according to Corey, my taste has waned. Jerk! j/k lol. But yeah, I miss the early 2000s or even 2 years ago when I would still hear a song that would just want me to put it on repeat and listen to it.

I missed getting excited about hearing songs on the radio like Time is Running Out (Muse), Float On (Modest Mouse), and West Coast (Coconut Records).

I'm not condemning all music, though. There have been small jewels here and there. I have found a lot of great things in the international music sectors. American Music just sounds like it has evolved and I've missed that transition, so I am in music limbo where my playlists still contain "outdated" music.

Well, the good news is, today I did find a song that finally made me happy. And by MY LOVE, McLachlan, so the moment I heard it I was in Heaven. Her new single is "U Want Me 2" and it just has that beautiful melody that is signature Sarah McLachlan. It makes me remember my Freshman year at UCR, when I got so excited about Afterglow coming out and I made a copy for Yalie because the CD was bomb.

So I've been listening to this song a lot lately. Mainly because this guy's voice is beautiful. And I have never said that about a male singer, so that is saying a lot. What makes me sad is that he died last year.

The song is called Restons Ami by Grégory Lemarchal.

Reviens,
Avant que l'on se perde
De vue ou d'imprévus
Avant que tout s'efface

Reviens,
Et restons encore fidèles
Le temps que se détache
Toute ma peau de la tienne
Que disparaisse ton ombre

Restons amis
Le temps que plus rien ne fasse mal
Le temps de se voir, sous un jour différent
Reston amis
A l'aube de faire ses bagages

Sans rien détruire
Du beau qui nous attend
On aura tout a y gagner
Sous un jour différent
Restons amis

Reviens,
Pour les soirs d'amertume
Les petites blessures
Quand rien n'a plus de sens

Reviens,
Et reste à proximité
Pour partager les rires
Et les fragilités
Qu'aucun ne comprendrait

Restons amis
Le temps que plus rien ne fasse mal
Le temps de se voir, sous un jour différent
Restons amis
A l'aube de faire ses bagages
Se prendre au jeu
On n'sait jamais vraiment
Ce qui pourrait nous arriver
Sous un jour différent
Restons amis
Restons amis,
Restons amis,
Restons amis, le temps que plus rien ne fasse mal
Le temps de se voir, pendant qu'il en est encore temps
Sous un ciel différent, défaire ses bagages
Restons amis, restons amis,
Restons amis, restons amis.

I do not really need a word for word translation seeing as a lot could be lost. But anything that gets to the gist of the song would be great.

Alone was a feeling I used to be accustomed to. It was a feeling or emotion that I was content with and at times became too comfortable with. I can look fondly back on times where I embraced being alone. Yet, I also remember the times where I longed for company and the presence of others. A while back, I wrote an entry about feeling like a nomad. A nomad with nowhere to go. I still feel like one in many ways. By next Christmas, I will have been at the new house for a year.

This place still does not feel like home.

I do not know why it is so hard for me to like this place. My family is here. My things are here. Yet my memories are not. I have yet to have one memorable event happen to me here.

This entry sounds terrible, I know. But I do not mean to worry you guys or anything. I think this is just a fact of life. Places come and go. People come and go. But you make the best of it and you realize what and who really matters to you.

I want to like this house. I just need time.

Since Corey will be going to France this fall we have been attempting to watch French films in order for him to improve his French. Somehow every French film we have seen is a horror film, but I used to be the horror movie guy so I did not think much of it. I remember growing up having an affinity for horror films. Do not ask me why, but there was this thrill that came with something that would scare me. As logical and down to Earth as I try to be, I know I believe there is more because if I did not, I would not get so psychologically moved by films that prey on our or my fears. However, psychological thrills do not seem to be a priority in horror anymore. It is all about blood and guts. Literally. In this generation of Saw and this film, High Tension, viewers are treated to visual horrors moreso than any type of psychological fears. While I admit that these filmmakers are doing a great job in cinematography especially when it comes to setting up the film's setting or atmosphere, these films are becoming quite formulaic.

The current horror hack 'n slash film formula tends to be a protagonist hunted by the antagonist who you are always questioning why the villain is chopping people to bits and then it is finished off with a twist ending linking the protagonist to the villain in some way. Haute Tension fills that formula in a much more classy way. With that being said, I cannot stand these type of films. Mainly because I am a wimp. I do not like seeing blood and I do not like seeing people being penetrated by sharp objects. Most of these films tend to specialize in that area so I cannot stand hack n' slash movies. However, if you do like these type of films, I think you will enjoy Haute Tension. It is a revenge movie with a twist. How believable that twist is, is really in the eye of the beholder. Corey enjoyed this film far more than I did. But I can appreciate this film for what it tries to accomplish.

The Orphanage comes from the same minds who brought to you Pans Labyrinth. However, this films takes a much darker approach in its fantasy elements compared to Pans. The film tells the story of Laura, a kind woman, who decides to purchase the large orphanage she used to live in as a home for her family. Her plans are to create a school or institution for children who are mentally disabled. The plot centers mainly around her son, Simon, who begins to meet an interesting group of imaginary friends. What appears to be a child playing tricks soon takes a darker turn when Simon is missing and Laura begins to question just how imaginary his friends are, especially one that wears a creepy sack mask.


Corey and I have been watching foreign horror films for the past month. I can say that this film by far has been the most haunting of all the movies we have seen. While gore and slash films just traumatize you in that very moment, it's quite easy for your mind to forget what you have seen. However, a good horror film needs not the blood and guts, but mere imagery and psychological realizations that will form questions and fears in your mind. The Orphanage is not the greatest ghost story film in its genre. It will probably remind most American audiences of 'The Others' a film starring Nicole Kidman, but I think it has enough differences to stand on its own as an original art piece. The film is not original in its way to shock you, but its story is original enough to haunt you.


The Orphanage relies on little gore to generate its scares. The majority of scares relies on your psyche. If you are an incredibly logical person, the film will probably do little. If you however have a tinge or believe in the supernatural, then the film will succeed in making you shudder and look twice when you walk down that dark hallway or question whether or not someone is watching you in the darkness.

I've been a jackass. Seriously. If I could dictate what an ass I have been lately, I'm sure I could formulate volumes on my douchebagginess but alas my horrendous schedule this quarter really prevents me from having any downtime. So in the ten minutes I have to write this entry, I hope to get a point across. I want to be me again. I apologize for any massive cliches that appear in this entry, I just want to get a lot off of my chest.


I believe it was last summer, the night of the meteor shower, that I really made this realization. It was one of the few times when I had the pleasure of being graced by Xtina, who was back from France or Taiwan, I cannot remember which country but I do remember being jealous ;-). But something she had said to me definitely struck a chord with me. By this time, I had gained weight back and was more self-conscious than ever, I hid myself in baggy basketball shorts and a huge UCR hoodie. She had mentioned something along the lines of "why are you hiding yourself?" I think I shrugged it off, but I think the remark really made a point to me.


Losing a massive amount of weight had given me confidence that I never imagined, yet the moment I slacked off and got off track, I hermitted back into obscurity. I avoided people. I avoided myself. I didn't want to admit things to myself, and because people had given me so much support I felt that I had let everyone down. But moreso, after much reflection, I had made a terrible mistake because I was assuming that all my friends were vain and would naturally become disgusted and disappointed in me solely because of my change in my appearance.


But appearances were never what made me friends with my circle in the first place. It was me. Sure, I looked different, but I was the same person. However, by avoiding everyone else, I was becoming someone else. Someone ugly. I felt ashamed to even visit my Riverside and McDonalds crew, because I thought they would judge me. But judging was never part of our deal. My friendships have always been based on locking in feelings with people I had connected on, and more laughter. I know it's random, but laughter, the ability to make someone who has had the shittiest day loosen up and smile, is a quality that I and all of my friends have shared. Laughter has really been able to make me go through day to day without feeling like shit.


So, I'm really hoping to make a change. Today. Both physically and mentally, I want change to happen to me. I want to become the great person I was and the better person I am to become. I want to be with the people I care about. I want to visit my SM friends and smile and laugh. I want to when Mickey Mouse will allow me to, buy tickets to Berkeley to visit Erica and Corey, buy tickets to France or Taiwan to see Xtina, I want to be alive the way I used to be.

And I hope you all will be with me on this path...

Again, apologies for the corniness of this entry. I just want you all to know I'm alive and my thoughts. :)

    I've been incredibly fatigued lately.  I think it was far more evident last weekend at work.  I could barely formulate sentences.  And if you know me, when I get tired I can barely feign some coherency in my composure.  But whatever, finals is upon me and that means even less sleep, a bit more suffering, and a bit more I want to die.  Yesterday was my final for graphic media and production.  While, the class still didn't leave me too comfortable with the aspects of going to a printer and printing a large, mass produced project, Angela Glenn did make an impact just as a contact for anything graphic design related.  People always complain about professors.  While some complaints are valid, most are just because they're lazy.  That's why I never really believe in RateMyProfessors anymore, because how can you go by that when half the people who post on that site shouldn't even be in college?
    So back to my tiredness.  It comes in spurts.  Where I just want to sleep and if I make the mistake of giving in, I lose precious time to work, or more accurately precious time where I contemplate getting to work.  I thought I might be sick, because for the past couple weeks I've awoken to a sore throat and headache.  Seeing as everyone and their mother at both school and work are sick, it didn't seem too radical of a hypothesis.  But that doesn't matter seeing as how even if I am sick, work and school still have to happen.  Thank goodness for pain killers.  I kid I kid.  Sorta.
    I've been spending a lot of time with a student, friend, etc. Leah.  That girl just knows how to make me smile, and I feel like in the past month I've gotten to know her a 100 times more than when I had met her, last year.  She definitely knows her art, and yes to feed her ego, she's great with type.  She's definitely someone that I admire greatly.  Haha, we've spent two all-nighters this quarter working on a book and being semi-productive.  Our ideas just never formulated until it was freakishly towards the deadline.  Hahah but it's been a fun ride.
    Well, I have to go to typography class now, but I do want to update this thing more so peace out folks.